The worst thing that can happen to you, other than every other feeling of being anxious, desperate, nervous, hopeless, and many other such psychological words, is realizing you have ADHD.
I have met people who have ADHD before and have called them names before. Maybe God punished me for using this word frivolously.
I never thought I would be at the receiving end of it.
But how did I realize that I had ADHD?
Well, for the last few days, I was not feeling good in my mind. I was feeling very low, and anxiety was a constant companion for a long time.
There were times when I would feel extremely high and times when I would feel extremely low, but at both these times, my mind was racing as if I were on cocaine.
There was no in-between moment where I would feel relaxed.
The sexual thoughts covered my mind, and no matter what I did, these thoughts refused to go.
I just couldn’t control my mind. The saner I wanted to be, the more insane I grew.
I was not like this earlier.
I remember I could sit for hours in one place and think about something. But these days, sitting in one place became troublesome. I can’t sit anywhere for more than 15 minutes. I am exaggerating when I say 15 minutes. Five minutes is more than enough for me to sit.
I always feel like I have to do something, and I am always doing something. Nothing concrete, but something which would keep me easy—like watching random YouTube videos or scrolling the X timeline.
Anything that would give my mind a sense of feeling that I was doing something. In the end, no result would come out of what I was doing, and it would irritate me.
I remain angry all the time. I remain irritated all the time. I talk a lot.
I mean, I talk like a crying pampered dog raised in a multi-billionaire’s house.
Non-stop talking has affected me a lot. Often, I say things which I don’t want to tell anyone, but I keep saying those things for no reason at all.
The worst part of talking is that I never know what I am saying. I keep talking and keep shifting from one topic to another, and by the time it comes to conclude my talk, I don’t know what topic I was talking about.
Everything I was feeling for a long time, I put it on ChatGPT and asked, “What can you make out of it?”
ChatGPT was extremely blunt and rude to tell me that I had ADHD and recommended a few books on the subject. I bought (downloaded… from free ebook websites) all those books and started reading one.
Talking about reading—I couldn’t finish any book. I don’t remember when was the last time I finished any book.
I am always in a hurry. Hurry for what, I don’t know. I keep deadlines all the time.
But then again, who told me about keeping deadlines and being anxious?
Aren’t those the same self-help books that keep repeating that you have to work harder, meet deadlines, treat everything as urgent, and blah blah?
All this time, I was also trying to find what is the real truth of life, and over time I have realized that there is no such thing as truth in this world.
Everything is quite relative. Truth is also relative. Truth is not absolute.
Whatever works for one person is that person’s truth, and he writes a book about it and misguides everyone with it.
I don’t think anyone can become rich just by reading books.
Warren Buffett bullshits when he says that he became a billionaire just by reading books.
Reading books is a very vague term. No one tells you which books to read. Reading all the books in the world won’t help you a bit—I can assure you of that.
All this talking, and you must be wondering what prompt I gave to ChatGPT, aren’t you?
Yes, I can read your mind.
Man, if you are reading this post, then clearly you are suffering from ADHD too.
Here is the prompt:
What do these symptoms indicate –
- Unable to focus on anything
- Rapidly changing thoughts
- Occasional suicidal thoughts
- High sexual energy causing irritation till I masturbate
- Guilt after masturbation
- Sometimes sexual thoughts lead to pervert thoughts
- Feeling like a loser
- Feeling of hopelessness
- Sometimes highly energetic and sometimes very low
- 3–4 days of anxiety every month
- Never completing anything
- No willpower to keep doing one thing
- Too much overthinking
All these things are something I will discuss with you in detail someday, but not today. Because today I want to tell you…
What to do after ADHD realization?
First of all, don’t take any fucking medication.
Second, contact a psychologist if you want to be treated fast.
Treating anything like this all on your own can be dangerous.
What I did was something I won’t recommend to anyone, but I did it.
I did nothing.
I decided to solve this problem on its own.
I decided to do that because I know that there is no end to mental problems.
There is always one thing right or wrong with your brain.
No one has been able to figure out completely what is right or wrong with the brain.
So just chill and let the thing pass.
I would also recommend not to read much on ADHD.
The more you read about diseases, the more you will get it.