Well, the first 1000 articles are going to be shit… and the truth is that first everything is going to be shit but somewhere I have to start because I cannot travel in future and cannot start from 1001.
This remind me why most tutorials start their number from 101 rather than 001 because they want to tell that what they are teaching is actually advanced and for intelligent people rather than novices and it gives people an impression that they are in for something real learning.
I don’t think I am able to put my thoughts clearly here or anywhere because there is so much going in my mind and it is so random that when I start to talk or write everything jumps from one branch to another.
What is the perfect way?
Well, I know there is no perfect way except doing it.
I may be random but I have to move ahead anyway.
There is no respite from hard work. I want to burn myself from working so that no other thoughts exists in my mind.
There are so many thoughts and I want to stick to one single thought. That seems to be so difficult that I am unable to do it.
I literally finish nothing and nothing comes out of anything.
There is so much work to do that I often feel that nothing will ever be accomplished and nothing will ever come out of my efforts.
The previous experiences also has been so that nothing ever comes even after hard work.
May be the hard work was not enough.
I think it requires more hard work than I think is required to do something. There is nothing I can do to do more hard work.
I have to nearly die from hard work now.
I have to work so fucking hard that it will amuse everyone.
But it can’t be two or three goals, it has to be just one goal and I have to keep working towards it.
But one has to start from somewhere.
I know that there is a problem that I won’t be sticking to my goals for a very long time, they tend to move from one place to another.
My mind is a monkey and it gets attracted to other things very fast. But I have to stick it to one thing for a longer period of time.
What to do. Nothing seems to be working for me as of now.
The things I know would work I am not doing it like exercising.
There is nothing which would convince my mind to exercise.
Then the real life examples of people who seem to work very little but get reward anyways bothers my mind.
It makes me feel the work I am doing is whether it is worth doing or not.
But the confusion will always remain there, fear will always remain there and doubt always remains there.
But I have to keep moving on. I have to learn how to write articles and for writing articles I must read all day long.
Sometimes I feel that reading won’t bring me anything but on the other side it is the reading which has brought me everything.
I am in the race of making this article of 1000 word count length but there is no content in my mind which could make it so. So I will end it here now.