I recently met a senior advocate who called me to his chamber after I messaged him my resume.
I thought I had landed in the right place after receiving his message. I was way too happy and felt that everything was finally falling into the right place.
But nothing ever works according to one’s plan.
God be like, why are you happy against my will?
I have something better and bigger written for you.
I don’t know what something bigger and better is, but I wish God would be a little hasty in showing me all that.
Did I join his chamber?
A big no.
I don’t know what happened, but he met me for barely 2–3 minutes and asked me to leave after a few minutes, as his chamber was already overcrowded, so he told me that. It was sunday, so I can’t judge.
I sat for nearly two hours waiting for him outside his chamber, and it turned out he had already made up his mind.
He said he wanted to see who this guy was who worked in films but quit for some reason and has now become a lawyer.
What??
You called me all the way from my home, gave me a time for an appointment, just to take a look at my face?
I would have gladly sent him my photo.
Deep down, I know it was not the right reason. He rejected me.
Now, I have several theories about why he rejected me.
I think my first theory is that he felt disrespected because I didn’t stand up when he came outside to drop someone off.
He was more than ten hands’ distance from me. I was contemplating whether to stand or not, and before my contemplation ended, the time to stand up had passed, as a few others had already stood.
Standing then would have made it more awkward.
I had already committed the sin.
I don’t know what the rule is here. In court, I have often seen people touching elders’ feet.
I have no problem with that, as I respect my elders too and I touch their feet as well.
But that doesn’t mean I will touch the feet of every elder I meet.
Respect is something that should be given, first of all because it is free, but I have a severe problem when respect is demanded in strict terms.
At that moment, I was playing a video game on my mobile to pass time and was chewing gum.
I know both these activities might make you think that I was not serious about the meeting.
No, no, I was.
But imagine waiting for two hours in a legal chamber, sitting next to the receptionist-cum-court filer, and imagine no one talking to you or even giving you a stare.
You already get a feeling of rejection because of that and a sense of not belonging there.
I had only recently downloaded games on my mobile because they distract me from overthinking. While being a thinker has not served me well, being an overthinker has destroyed me completely.
I realized it was time to pretend that I didn’t even know him.
Frankly, I don’t know him. I had seen him one or two times in court, and I promise you I didn’t recognize him without his court attire. I thought he was the munshi.
In court, we are so used to seeing someone every day wearing the same attire that soon the attire becomes the identity, and we can’t think of that lawyer in any other dress.
But my question is—
How can a man demand respect from everyone in this world?
Anyway, that was my first theory.
Second, I think he didn’t like my face.
I agree I wasn’t in my top beauty form that day.
I don’t think I looked good.
Me dressing casually can be the third reason, but I don’t think he would be expecting me to meet him in formal black attire of lawyers on a Sunday.
That would be ludicrous if that was his expectation.
And more importantly, how am I supposed to know what his expectations are?
The world is a superficial place. I don’t exactly know why he rejected me, and I don’t want to know now. That timeline has passed as well.
This world is not a literary world where people reply to your mails and letters.
That only happens inside books. People usually choose not to reply.
I know it from my personal experience, as I too don’t reply much.
Moving on to the next rejection now.
By the way, I must tell you that today I have received another rejection letter from another publishing house for my book.
I wrote a book recently, and it has been ferociously rejected everywhere.
Everyone who reads it calls it a good book, but still everyone rejects it.
If you read motivational writings of successful writers, then you might think it is a good thing, but rejection is not a good thing when it happens to you. Reading about it on the other hand is very motivating.
It simply means that they think the book won’t sell too much.
I will publish the book on my own now. But it costs money, and I don’t have much money now.
Affirmations are working for everything except money and marriage.
I don’t right now know whether I want to get married or not.
My mother wants me to get married, but I feel it is too much of a burden.
On top of that, I have put my feet in a profession where I see divorces predominantly.
I wish I worked at shaadi.com so that I would see more matchmakings than divorces. However, I am not very far from shaadi.com, as most divorces that are happening have shaadi.com in common.
They meet online and realize they are not made for each other. Damn you Shahrukh Khan.
If someone is not getting married, there is a reason behind it.
The reason is the problem you are not ready to solve. A matchmaking website won’t help.
I feel everything has to be natural.
You follow your instincts and live life day to day. Just ignore everything in the past and future.
Carpe diem, my Friend, carpe diem.